Dick Haymes, Dick Todd, and Como

Writer(s): Johnny Burke / Jimmy Van Heusen / Sammy Cahn
A Parody of: “Sunday, Monday or Always”

I’ll soon become a wreck, they’re breathin’ on my neck
Dick Haymes, Dick Todd, and Como.
They’re really coming fast, who knows I may be passed
By Dick Haymes, Dick Todd, and Como.
The fact that girlies scream, they say, will cause me grief
But if they ever stop, I’ll find that I’m back on relief.
It’ll mean the end of me, good news for Tommy D
And Dick Haymes, Dick Todd, and Como
Why should it get their goat each time I bend a note
Dick Haymes, Dick Todd, and Como
At my pictures, they throw rocks, they’re both at Twentieth Fox
Not Dick Todd, but Dick Haymes, and Como
They say that I need weight, I’m just a mass of joints
I’d like to put on weight, but where the heck can I get points
If at RKO I pout, they look at me and shout,
“Dick Haymes, Dick Todd, and Como”
Everytime I sing, I’m compared with Bing
by Dick Haymes, Dick Todd, and Como
Bing’s four boys are sublime, but they won’t give me time
Dick Haymes, Dick Todd, and Perry
(that’s the other guy’s first name)
I’ll never sing like Bing, I know I don’t compare
I’ll grant them he’s got voice, if they’ll grant me, that I’ve got hair
But then why all this fuss, there’s room for all of us
Dick Haymes, Dick Todd, and Como
There’s just one Crosby, there’s room for all of us!

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